Conquering Your Financial Empire

Bologna: The Deli Meat That Could

Published April 1, 2017 in Policy Analysis - 4 Comments
April Fool's Day 2017

Today, I’d like to mix it up a bit and tell you all about something dear to me.  Being the Cash Flow Celt, it’s not strange idea that I’m very frugal.  With the every rising costs of food, I’m always looking for great ways to eat cheap.  Enter the man, the myth, the legend…Mr. Bologna Sandwich

Due to the variation of bologna around the world, as well as its versatility, I wanted to take a moment and sing the praises of the unsung hero.  The mystery meat gets a lot of flak, but stands strong as the fourth most popular lunch meat garnering 10% of all deli meat sales.  Ham and Turkey make up 59% of all total sales.

Ode to Bologna

From noble beginnings, it fed the Roman Legion
Mortadella they cried out, ravenous after victory.
Forward 2,000 years, Oscar Mayer is what is eaten.
The pink lunchmeat is woven into American history.
Bologna! An eponym for a city in Italy across the ocean blue.
Bologna! It’s a far-cry from the Mortadella origins it once knew.

Phoney Baloney

Not Your Momma’s Bolognese

Fry it, bake it, you can grill it, or mince it.  It’s ever-so versatile.
Grilled cheese or egg burrito, sauté it with some garlic.
Easy on the budget, makes using this meat worthwhile.
You can get beef, pork, and chicken bologna – all types are on the market.
Bologna! Inhale the smell of the seasonings, especially the incorporated myrtle berries.
Bologna!  Sunday morning it sizzles and pops in the skillet.  Up the stairs, wake the kids, the smell carries.

It’s impossible to espouse the wonders of bologna without talking cash
It’s budget friendly and calorie dense – a true super food from antiquity!
Keeping frugal, throw in potatoes and a little thyme, now you’ve got bologna hash.
Because of its price, the pink paste is in most households. Now that’s the definition of ubiquity.
Bologna! Mechanically separated meat just means there is more to love.
Bologna!  The price, the taste, the smells.  Bologna will not be gotten rid of.

I hope you know, I hope you can see, a bologna sandwich is made for you and me.
Scrumptous, inexpensive, rich and fair.  Bologna has stood the test of time.
From Roman Legions to countries across the globe, we all stand at attention with glee.
I’m running out of content for this silly rhyme.
Bologna!  Try out a bologna sandwich the next time you’re in a café.
Bologna!  Please come and share a bologna sandwich with me today.

What’s your favorite deli meat?  Were you shocked to know that bologna makes up 10% of total revenue for deli meat?  I know I was!  Keep the poetry in motion with a quick limerick about your favorite cured treat below in the comments.  Then check me out on Facebook at www.facebook.com/cashflowcelt.

4 comments

Catherine J Colangelo - April 2, 2017 Reply

I remember YEARS of eating fried bologna as a child. Only decades later did I discover that it was all a nefarious plot by my mom to afford summers in Miami! HA!

    Cash Flow Celt - April 2, 2017 Reply

    Hey, parents need goals. And if those goals are fulfilled by children eating mechanically separated meat, then decisions were made and lines were drawn in the sand.

Jack Catchem - April 10, 2017 Reply

There was an old side of Turducken
That was made of three meats then.
A turkey, a duck
A chicken, no cluck
And as for bacon, none providen

    Cash Flow Celt - April 12, 2017 Reply

    Haha, I appreciate your limerick. Who said law enforcement was full of a bunch of non-creatives!?

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